A wise woman builds her house but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. - Proverbs 14:1
What a powerful verse! I read this over and over. It's both amazing and humbling to realize that we, too, can be that foolish woman, who tears down her house after working so hard to build it.
Isn't it heartbreaking to know that something you have labored to acquire or build can be torn down by your foolish actions? It would be easier to accept if someone else was responsible, but instead, you only have yourself to blame. What a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes we think that someone else would be the one to ruin or destroy what we have built but acknowledging and seeing that it was your own undoing, you own self-sabotage, is beyond humbling and deeply painful.
A wise woman takes her time to build her house. She builds it by fostering an environment where love, peace, and God's presence thrive. She knows how to maintain it, nurture it, and keep it in good condition. She doesn't allow her emotions to dictate her responses but rather, she speaks words of kindness, love, and encouragement. She is a blessing to her family and friends.
On the other hand, the foolish woman is destructive, without even realizing it. Her choices lead to division, strife, or a lack of spiritual health in her home. The foolish woman allows her emotions to control her actions. She lets these feelings guide her interactions with others, whether it's anger, frustration, hurt, or resentment. As a result, her home becomes a battleground instead of a safe haven. The foolish woman may not intend to cause harm but by reacting impulsively, she slowly tears down the relationships around her.
This Bible verse resonates with me because I know what it's like to nurture and build a relationship only to tear it all down in an instant. Through careless actions, I destroyed everything, My words destroyed what I had worked so hard to build. I was that foolish woman. That realization was a difficult one to sit with but I had to sit with it. It felt as though my sun was gone like it did not shine for me anymore. The way I felt wasn’t just concerning the circumstances but was rooted in my own insecurities, the lies I believed, and my fears. Calling it self-sabotage would be an understatement. It was a complete demolition of the worst kind, and its weight still lingers.
Sometimes, by the time you realize the damage you have done, due to your foolish actions, it's already too late. The ruins of what once was a house you built are a constant reminder of what you destroyed. Sometimes rebuilding is no longer an option...it's too far gone. But maybe it takes that destruction for you to truly see how foolish you were. Perhaps it is in that moment of loss that you resolve to never let it happen again, vowing to become a wise woman who builds rather than destroys.
Yet how wonderful would it be to never experience that demolition and destruction? If we could learn from someone who had been down that road, warning us not to make the same mistakes? I wish I had stopped myself while I was still in the process of destroying the relationship. However, it didn't work out that way so let me be your cautionary tale. Be wise - build, don't be foolish like me, tearing down what you've worked hard to build. However, if you and I are in the same boat, we have to learn from our mistakes and steer others on the right path so they don't make the same mistakes.
We must remember that our words and actions have incredible power. They can either destroy or build up. Instead of tearing, ourselves and others down, let's choose to lift one another up, to speak life into our lives and relationships. Through my own journey, I have come to understand that the way we speak and act can either strengthen our homes or bring them crumbling down.
Before you say something hurtful or act in a way that causes harm, pause and count the cost. Consider the potential destruction and choose wisdom. Be the wise woman who builds her house, not the foolish one who tears it down.
God bless you.
