Hello everyone!
I hope you are all doing well. Welcome to a new month! Over the next few weeks, I will be diving deeper into the topic of marriage and divorce. After reading the comments on my blog post, Marriage is Sacred and Binding, I realized there are important topics that we need to explore. While I hold the sanctity of marriage in the highest regard, I’ve received several questions about divorce that I feel compelled to address, using the Word of God as my guide. I do not have all the answers, but I’m learning more each day, and my goal is to approach this topic from a biblical perspective. I encourage you to join me on this journey, seeking God’s wisdom together on the topic of marriage and divorce.
I want to start the series by discussing "Love." Love is a word that is used casually in today’s world. We hear it in songs, see it in movies, and even use it in conversations without always considering the depth of its meaning. "I love your pants," "I love that movie," and on and on it goes, throwing the word love around so callously. I am guilty of this sometimes. But as we are constantly striving to live a Christ-centered life, we have to understand that love is far more than just a feeling or an attraction—it is a reflection of God’s character.
This brings me to today's blog "How do we know when someone truly loves us in the way God intended? I believe that leading with the topic of love is the best way to begin this series. Love is the foundation of marriage and upon which a strong and healthy marriage is built.
The Bible offers a clear and timeless definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. These verses are often quoted at weddings or written in greeting cards, but their message is more than poetic sentiment. They serve as a guide to recognizing God-like love, which is the type of love we should seek in our relationships.
Let’s take a moment to walk through these verses and apply them in a practical way to assess whether someone's love aligns with what God calls us to.
Love is Patient and Kind
1 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV) says, "Love is patient, love is kind." Now imagine replacing the word love with the name of the person who says they love you. For example, if their name is Joseph, ask yourself:
- Is Joseph patient with you? Does he give you the grace to grow and make mistakes without frustration?
- Is Joseph kind? Does he act with compassion, always seeking to uplift and encourage, rather than criticize or belittle?
If patience and kindness aren’t characteristics of the person you’re with, it’s important to reflect on whether their love is genuine or self-serving.
Love Does Not Envy or Boast; It Is Not Proud
Next, the Bible tells us that love is not envious or boastful, nor is it proud. So, we continue:
- Is Joseph free from envy? Does he celebrate your successes without jealousy, or does he feel threatened by your accomplishments?
- Does Joseph refrain from boasting? Is he humble, or does he constantly speak of his own achievements, seeking to outshine others, even you?
- Is Joseph not proud? Does he avoid arrogance, instead approaching your relationship with a spirit of equality and mutual respect?
True love doesn’t compete or try to dominate. If someone is consistently envious or prideful, it may be a sign that their love is conditional or rooted in insecurity.
Love Is Not Rude, Self-Seeking, or Easily Angered
Continuing in 1 Corinthians 13:5, we see that love is not rude, self-seeking, or easily angered:
- Does Joseph treat you with respect in all situations, even when things don’t go as planned, or does he lash out with rude words or actions?
- Is Joseph selfless? Does he put your needs ahead of his own, or is he constantly seeking what’s in it for him?
- Is Joseph slow to anger? Does he show patience when you disagree or face challenges, or does he quickly become irritable or angry?
Love should create a safe and supportive space, not one filled with tension or selfishness. If rudeness, self-centeredness, or quick tempers dominate the relationship, this is not the kind of love God wants for you.
Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs
One of the most profound qualities of love is that it forgives. In 1 Corinthians 13:5, we are reminded that love “keeps no record of wrongs.”
- Is Joseph forgiving? Does he let go of past mistakes, or does he continually bring them up in arguments to guilt or shame you?
A person who truly loves you will reflect God’s grace, offering forgiveness and understanding instead of holding onto bitterness and resentment.
Love Rejoices with the Truth
True love delights in what is good, righteous, and true. It doesn’t tolerate deceit or manipulation. Ask yourself:
- Does Joseph stand for truth? Does he lead with honesty and integrity, or are there patterns of dishonesty and half-truths in your relationship?
A foundation of truth is essential for any loving relationship. Without it, trust crumbles, and so does the bond you share.
Love Always Protects, Trusts, Hopes, and Perseveres
Lastly, 1 Corinthians 13:7 tells us that love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. These are enduring qualities that reflect commitment and selflessness:
- Does Joseph protect your heart, your well-being, and your emotional safety, or does he put you in harm’s way, physically or emotionally?
- Does Joseph trust you, and do you trust him? Without mutual trust, love cannot thrive.
- Does Joseph inspire hope in your future together? Does he share your values and aspirations, or are there doubts about where the relationship is headed?
- Does Joseph persevere through difficult times, or does he give up easily when things get hard?
When love is genuine, it is enduring. It doesn’t give up when challenges arise but works through them with faith and hope.
Putting It All Together
One powerful way to test whether someone’s love for you aligns with the characteristics outlined in 1 Corinthians 13 is to substitute their name for the word love in these verses. As you go through each attribute, reflect on whether their actions match the God-like love described in scripture.
Joseph is patient.
Joseph is kind.
Joseph does not envy.
Joseph does not boast.
Joseph is not proud.
Joseph is not rude.
Joseph is not self-seeking.
Joseph is not easily angered.
Joseph keeps no record of wrongs.
Joseph rejoices with the truth.
Joseph always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
If the person’s actions align with these truths, it is a strong indicator that their love is genuine and reflects the heart of God. If not, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship.
I was listening to a podcast and the lady was discussing this and I had never heard it presented the way she discussed it and I wanted to share it with you. I believe we all can benefit from looking at love through the lens of 1 Corinthians 13. This is a great way to evaluate your relationships, especially for those who are single and contemplating marriage, take a step back from what you think love is and look at it how God intended it to be. While you are evaluating the one you are in a relationship with, take a minute to evaluate yourself:
Are you patient?
Are you kind?
Are you envious?
Are you boastful?
Are you proud?
Are you rude?
Are you self-seeking?
Are you easily angered?
Do you keep a record of wrongs?
Do you rejoice with the truth?
Do you always protect, always trust, always hope, and always persevere?
It is always easy to blame the other person but take a moment to look at your part in the equation. Do you uphold the standard of love according to scripture?
The Ultimate Example of Love
Let us remember that the ultimate example of love is Jesus Christ. His love for us is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. As we seek love in our relationships, let’s hold ourselves and others to this divine standard—not out of legalism or perfectionism, but because God desires the best for us. True love will always point back to Him.
If you’re in a relationship or considering one, use this biblical guide as a mirror to reflect the true nature of love. And always pray for wisdom and discernment as you navigate the path of love that leads to God’s ultimate purpose for your life.
May God continue to bless you!
