In the dictionary the word “mourning” is defined as “Sorrow, lamentation, grief; To express sadness or sorrow for; to grieve over.” Mourning is something we usually do when there is loss, loss of a person or thing. Mourning is a result of heartbreak, pain, despair, frustration and hurt. I never knew what it was to truly mourn until my father passed and I’m still grieving his death. In fact, I didn’t mourn his death as I would’ve liked to. I really wanted to scream, shout, tear at my clothes, run down the street screaming, fall to
my knees, screaming his name until I was hoarse. I know it sounds crazy but that’s how I would’ve liked to have mourned. I don’t believe there is a proper way to mourn and we each mourn differently.
Some people mourn a loss the way I described and it can be more intense but then there are others who hold it in because it’s the acceptable way to be, they don’t truly know how to mourn, they are afraid to get that emotional and they fear getting emotional as they have to be strong for others. What if I said it was okay to get to that point where you mourned the loss of someone like you truly wanted? I can say it is okay because God knows we would have moments where we would mourn others, hence the scripture, “Blessed are those who mourn…”
No matter how much people die around us every day, I don’t truly think we get use to it. If we did, there would be no need to mourn. And sometimes people tell us that we should be happy because that person is in a better place. Yes that may be true but that person isn’t with you. You miss them and the honest truth is you want them back. So how can you be truly happy? If we were to be real with ourselves we would mourn their passing and eventually get to that place of happiness.
If we would take our queue from the Bible we would realize that there are a lot of instances where people mourn. In fact, there are is an entire book in the Bible dedicated to mourning, the Book of Lamentation. There are several examples of people mourning. When Jesus heard that Lazarus had died, he wept. Now why would the Son of God, weep the passing of his friend, (John 11:35), when he should’ve been happy for him, knowing that he was in a better place? Jesus, was still in a human body, He was the Word in flesh form (John 1:1-4), and he had feelings just like you and I and that human part of him couldn’t deny the fact that it hurts, when you lose a loved one. David, a man after God’s own heart, when he heard that Saul, the man who wanted him dead, had died, he tore at his clothes and so did his men that were with him and they mourned and wept and fasted for Saul and Jonathan’s death (2 Sam 1:12). It goes on to say that “Then David lamented with this lamentation over Saul and over Jonathan his son…” (2 Sam 1:17). In the book of Daniel, it states that after Daniel saw a vision and understood it he mourned for 3 weeks (Daniel 10:2). This vision greatly troubled him and caused him to mourn.
In the bible there are numerous occasions where persons would mourn a person or thing. They would usually wear sackcloth and throw dust on their heads and weep. Today, we don’t do those things but we each have our own way of mourning. I don’t believe anyone should impose on how you should mourn or tell you how to mourn. It’s okay to mourn and it’s quite healthy.
In part 2, we will look at being comforted when you are mourning.
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