In today's world, it can be easy to approach marriage with a mindset of romance and personal desires. We see it in the movies, we read it in romance novels and we get swept away by the facade of love.
For Christians, marriage holds a deeper and divine significance. We often hear at weddings, "What God has joined together, let no one separate" (Matthew 19:6), but what does that really mean? Can we discern between marriages that are divinely ordained and those that are driven by human desires?
Several years ago, I attended a beautiful wedding that seemed perfect on the outside. The couple had been together for a few years and everyone expected them to get married. The bride was glowing, the groom was charming and everything seemed like a fairytale. Yet, deep down, there were issues. Family and friends noticed that the marriage was more about lust and social expectations rather than true commitment.
A few years after the wedding, the marriage began to unravel. The married couple did not attend church anymore, nor did they invite God in their personal plans together. They argued more and communication was non-existent. They would argue openly in front of family and friends and refused to get counseling from their pastor. They were still drawn to each other physically but after the deed was done, it was back to bickering. The union lacked the depth and foundation that comes from a relationship divinely orchestrated by God. They eventually divorced and went their separate ways.
This marriage and many others I've observed over the years raise the question, "Did God truly join these two people together or did they join themselves together?" Sometimes couples fool themselves into believing that God had joined them with their spouse, but did He really? Did God reveal this person to you for you to marry? Did you even seek Him out before you made the decision? Or Is your union based on your lust, and what you perceive to be love?
What does it mean for God to join two people together? Let's examine what sets these two types of marriages apart by looking at biblical examples of marriages that reflect God's divine plan versus one based on our own understanding.
A God-joined marriage is one that reflects His divine will and purpose. It is a union that is Christ-centered, where both partners seek to glorify God through their relationship. This kind of marriage goes beyond personal satisfaction or worldly success, it aligns with God's larger plan and purpose for both the individuals and His kingdom.
Characteristics of a God-Joined Marriage
Centered on Christ: Both individuals place God at the center of their marriage, seeking His will above their own desires. They rely on prayer, Scripture, and God’s guidance to shape their relationship.
Mutual Submission and Sacrifice: In a God-joined marriage, both partners are committed to loving and serving one another as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:21-33). This love is not based on what they can get from each other, but on what they can give.
Divine Purpose: A God-joined marriage has a higher purpose. It’s not just about companionship or fulfilling personal desires, but about partnering together for God's glory. The couple seeks to live out God's mission for their lives together.
Resilient Through Trials: A God-joined marriage can weather life's storms because it is anchored in faith. The couple knows that they are united by God's will and lean on Him during difficult times. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” That third strand—God—is what keeps the marriage strong.
Examples of God-Joined Marriages in the Bible
Abraham and Sarah: Despite the many trials they faced—waiting for decades to have a child, moving to a foreign land by God’s command, and experiencing moments of doubt—Abraham and Sarah’s marriage was ultimately a testament to God’s faithfulness. Their union was part of God’s divine plan to establish a nation through their descendants (Genesis 12:1-3). Though they made mistakes along the way, their relationship endured because it was grounded in God’s promise.
Boaz and Ruth: The story of Ruth and Boaz is a beautiful example of a marriage that reflects divine guidance and purpose. Ruth, a Moabite widow, followed her mother-in-law Naomi to Israel and trusted in God’s plan. Boaz, a kind and righteous man, saw Ruth’s faithfulness and honored her by marrying her. Their marriage led to the birth of Obed, the grandfather of King David, and is part of the lineage of Jesus Christ (Ruth 4:13-22). This shows that God’s plans for marriage often extend far beyond what we can see at the moment.
Mary and Joseph: The marriage of Mary and Joseph was not just about them—it was about God’s plan for the salvation of the world. Joseph’s decision to stay with Mary, despite the unusual circumstances of her pregnancy, reflects a deep obedience to God. Their marriage served a divine purpose, as they became the earthly parents of Jesus (Matthew 1:18-25). In this union, we see how God’s hand works even in unexpected situations to fulfill His plan.
Human-Driven Marriages: When We Take the Reins
In contrast, human-driven marriages are often rooted in personal desires, societal pressures, or cultural norms. These marriages may not necessarily be bad, but they are often built on shaky foundations. When a marriage is driven by human motives—such as attraction, financial security, or personal convenience—it can easily become strained when those external factors shift.
Characteristics of a Human-Driven Marriage
Self-Focused: In a human-driven marriage, individuals may focus more on what they can gain from the relationship rather than what they can give. The relationship becomes transactional, based on personal satisfaction rather than selfless love.
Guided by Emotions: These marriages may be more influenced by emotions and fleeting desires. Without a strong spiritual foundation, the couple may struggle when emotions change or challenges arise.
Worldly Priorities: Human-driven marriages often prioritize material success, social status, or physical attraction. While these elements can play a role in relationships, they are not strong enough to sustain a marriage over time.
More Susceptible to Conflict and Division: Without God as the foundation, human-driven marriages are more likely to falter under pressure. When disagreements or hardships come, the couple may lack the spiritual resources to persevere.
Examples of Human-Driven Marriages in the Bible
Samson and Delilah: Samson’s relationship with Delilah was driven by his physical attraction and desire for her, rather than seeking God’s will. Delilah was not aligned with Samson’s faith, and their marriage was not God-centered. In the end, Delilah betrayed Samson, leading to his downfall (Judges 16). This story shows how a relationship driven by human desires can lead to destruction.
Ahab and Jezebel: Ahab, a king of Israel, married Jezebel, a woman who led him away from God and into idolatry. Their union was not founded on faith or obedience to God but on political and personal motives. Jezebel’s influence ultimately led Ahab and Israel into sin and rebellion against God (1 Kings 16:29-33). Their marriage is a cautionary tale of how human-driven unions can result in spiritual compromise.
Discerning the Difference: Is Your Marriage God-Joined?
If you are married or considering marriage, it’s important to reflect on whether your relationship is God-joined or human-driven. Here are a few questions to help you discern the difference:
Is Christ at the center of your relationship? Do you and your spouse pray together, seek God's guidance, and build your relationship on His Word?
Are you both committed to serving each other selflessly? Is your love based on mutual sacrifice, or is it more focused on what you can gain?
Do you feel a sense of divine purpose in your marriage? Are you working together to glorify God and fulfill His plan for your lives, or is your marriage primarily about personal fulfillment?
How do you handle trials? Do you rely on God to strengthen your marriage during difficult times, or do you turn to worldly solutions and blame each other?
Whether you’re preparing for marriage or are already married, it's never too late to align your relationship with God's will. A God-joined marriage honors Him, reflects Christ’s love, and is built to withstand the challenges of life. As you seek to discern the nature of your marriage, turn to God in prayer, ask for His guidance, and commit to living out His purpose in your relationship.
“What God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:6). Let these words be the foundation of your marriage as you pursue a union that is blessed, sustained, and guided by God’s hand.
God bless you!
No comments:
Post a Comment